I'm Planning To Be More Spontaneous!

I have the most amazing sister in law.  Actually I have an equally amazing brother in law.  I often say that I married Kevin only because Greg was already taken!  But Greg and Bernadette (Bernie to all the family) were childhood sweethearts so I never really stood a chance with Kevin’s brother.  ;-)

Bernie is amazing to me for so many reasons.  She is a very hard worker in all aspects of her life, with her paid job and several UNpaid jobs.  Her kids are grown and (mostly) out of the house but the Fischer door is always open, especially to them.  She is always tackling some sort of home improvement project with Greg.  She keeps a very neat house despite caring for an aging Yellow Lab who has her share of messes and accidents.  She has been a caregiver to both her mom and our mother-in-law by taking them to multiple appointments, shopping for them, running errands, etc.  She never complained about all the sacrifices of time and money those caregiving roles meant.

In addition to Bernie’s heart being always open, so are her ears.  If she gets wind of something you want, need, saw but didn’t pick up, or haven’t seen but want to, trust me you’ll have it in less than a week.  I don’t know how she does it, I really don’t.

I swear, if this woman would rip open her shirt, there’s another layer under there and it has a big “S” emblazoned on it.

Did I mention she is an incredible cook, baker, and hostess?  Oh yeah, that too.  I LOVE going to their home for holidays and get-togethers.  She always makes things look so easy and effortless.  Even any new and previously untested recipes turn out perfectly.  When I’M hosting something I run around like a chicken the last 30 minutes before guests are due to arrive.  I’m firmly convinced that 30 minutes to HER guests arriving she is lounging in a lavender-scented bubble bath.

Recently she had out-of-town relatives visiting.  On Friday afternoon our phone rang, Bernie inviting us over for a farewell party the following afternoon.  I asked, as always, what I could bring.  The immediate response was (naturally) “Nothing, it’s all planned.”  But I pressed the issue, knowing that with a group of at least 30, she could certainly use one more dish.  Finally she relented and asked for a pasta salad that I make.

Knowing Bernie as I do, this get-together was a last-minute idea tossed together over lunch on Friday.  So that meant in about 24 hours she’d be hosting a party for a house full of friends and family and everything would be perfectly executed.  If I were in her shoes I would either have a nervous breakdown trying to accomplish the same thing, OR most likely I wouldn’t even attempt something like that without at least a week to plan.

You see, Bernie is all about casual ease and minimal effort.  She has learned through the years that it is OK to ask for help, and perfectly acceptable to order large quantities of food from a caterer.  She has made peace with paper plates and mismatched plastic cutlery.  Everything is always delicious, pulled-together and enough to literally feed an army.

I wish I could be more like her in so many ways.  I want to learn to embrace her efficiency and spontaneity.  I don’t think I ever will.

Excessive planning and minute details seem to be part of my hard-wiring.  I’ve read so many articles with menus that tease “Host an impromptu dinner party for eight…”  I just laugh.  Not only does impromptu NOT fit in my vocabulary, I never EVER have all the things in my pantry and freezer that I am supposed to for these drop-in dinners.  Really, with everyone’s lives crazy busy, is it even practical to think you can host this kind of get-together?  Unless you’re Rob & Laura Petrie people just don’t live that way.  Or at least I console myself with that thought as a way to excuse my obsession with long-term party planning.

I think I am going to start a planning binder on how to be more spontaneous.  Maybe if I work on it a little each day, say 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes in the afternoon and 10 minutes in the evening…  Maybe I could get some books on organization and efficient planning…  Maybe I could start a list of things I need to do to embrace all things last-minute… 

I have to go.  If I start my prep work now, I should be ready for that impromptu dinner party in a couple weeks.

No KIDding about these cooking classes

In the August 17^th edition of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the FOOD section had an article, “Finding fun in food.”  The story was about cooking schools for children.  Nancy Kopperud who operates Petite Chef, a cooking school for kids in Oconomowoc, tells her students, “You’ve got to eat three times a day.  You’d better figure out something besides a chicken nugget and a french fry.”  Similar words of wisdom come from Carol Burkert, owner of Kids Can Cook school in Elm Grove:  “It’s a life skill.  If kids learn to cook, they’re going to survive.”

I’m a strong supporter of local businesses and I am always happy to read about successful ventures.  (Wisconsin does not have a very small-business-friendly climate but hopefully our current governor, Scott Walker, will change that.)  I think it is wonderful that these women are teaching important skills AND making it fun for the kids.

Public television has hosted cooking shows since Julia Child came on the scene.  But it was the Food Network who inspired the masses to elevate their skills & knowledge in the kitchen.  Since kids watch what their parents do, it’s only natural that even the under-12 set wants to grow up to be famous chefs.  Or at least know how to make an omelet and frost a pretty cake.

I think it is admirable that Nancy Kopperud and Carol Burkert are helping kids learn their way around a pie dish and stock pot.  What I found disturbing was a part of the article talking about how cooking is a great way to reinforce school-learned concepts such as math, reading and chemistry.  “But, to the dismay of many parents, it’s also messy and time-consuming.  And that may deter parents from making meal preparation a family activity.”

So basically kids’ cooking schools can find a niche because parents are impatient and lazy?  You can’t tell me that even a 9 to 5 mom or dad can’t find a few minutes on a weekend showing their children how to do more in the kitchen than open an Oscar Mayer Lunchable.  What’s next?  A school that teaches your kids how to get dressed, brush their teeth and wash their faces?  Perhaps one that teaches them how to ride a bike?  (Insert the sound of a forehead slap here.)

A Very Special Tea Party for Very Special Daughters

I have mentioned that I enjoy reading lots of baking, cooking and party planning blogs.  “Enjoy” is a rather mild term for me.  “Obsess over” is probably more accurate.  Many of these wonderful blogs have given me great recipes and have inspired me to try creative crafts.  I have “liked” several of these blogs on Facebook so that I get real-time updates and every day leads to more inspiration and more great blogs that I didn’t know existed.

Last night I read an entry from Kiss Me Kate (website to launch in a few weeks,) who I found through Amy Atlas Events.  KMK’s entry “…while we will be celebrating with a little tea party, we will also be remembering little Ava (Ava's Tea Party), sending her some fairy dust and sharing some little cupcakes in her memory xxx” intrigued me, so I clicked on the Ava’s Tea Party link.  I’m glad I did, and I’m NOT glad I did.

After reading Ava’s heart-wrenching story I went in the living room and hugged my precious daughter (and cried) and told her just how very much I love her.  I do that constantly now, but I just didn’t want to set her down from my lap.  I just wanted to hold her forever.

I know there are, sadly, hundreds of “heart-wrenching stories” involving children whose lives are stolen from them through illness, natural disasters, accidents and, most atrociously, through abuse.  I could make myself completely crazy if I think about all the little souls who didn’t get the chance to flourish.  A few weeks ago I read another blog about a woman who was the victim of domestic violence and leaves behind two beautiful little children.  I cried all day, and hugged Kyla extra close that day too.

(On a side note:  My husband Kevin has blogged for several years.  Our family has been the target of every nasty comment you can imagine and it is usually from someone who is brave enough to spew hate but cowardly enough to not use a real name.  I was disturbed to find that even on little Ava’s blog there was at least one vile comment regarding Ava’s mom’s parenting skills.  WHY must people be that way?)

In my opinion, Ava’s tragic story is not about neglect or bad parenting.  It can’t be put in the same category as the loser “mother” who wants to go tanning so she leaves her baby unattended in the car.  No parent is going to write about their family’s heartbreaking loss and set up memorials if they are neglectful.  It is not a way to assuage their guilt; it is a means of remembering a precious little girl who meant more than the world to her family.

So, after reading about little Ava,  please mark your calendar for Monday, August 22^nd.   (For the moms who are a “9 to 5” in addition to being a “24/7” at home, celebrate this weekend instead.)  You can follow my lead by inviting your best friend and her daughter over for tea, or make the party as intimate as just you and your daughter(s).  You can make things as elaborate as you’d like by bringing out china OR as simple as using a cookie cutter on a PB&J sandwich and putting milk in a tea cup.  Just make sure you hold your little girl(s) extra close, and cherish every moment.

And by the way…  You don’t have to be the mom of a little girl to take part in this special tea party.  What daughter wouldn’t cherish a moment or two with her mom over a cup of tea?  She doesn’t have to be two, she can be 22!  A mom’s love for her daughter doesn’t stop just because she gets older and any mom will say her daughter will always be “her baby.”

TISSUE ALERT!

Note to my readers:  Tomorrow, I promise, a heartfelt and tear-wrenching blog.  But important and worth it.  I'd write it now but my eyes are too tired from crying after reading the inspiration for aforementioned blog.

Stay tuned.

Forgotten, or Never Learned?

I have a couple of “go to” cookbooks when I need inspiration and new ideas and a foolproof recipe.  You can easily identify my favorite baking book by its broken spine and stuck-together pages.  I’ve made notes beside recipes to mark which ones are successes and which ones are failures.  ***Note to the editors of Good Housekeeping:  I’m sure the failures were due to “user error” not due to anything in your cookbook:

While I consider these books invaluable in creating tasty treats for friends and family, I do NOT consider them fascinating reading.  They have straightforward recipes, nice photos, and if I’m lucky a helpful hint or two.  I guess that’s what a cookbook should be.

I am currently in the process of devouring Darina Allen’s “Forgotten Skills of Cooking.”  Devouring is the key word here.  Part cookbook, part memoir, Darina takes me to places I’ve never been (Ireland) and helps me envision things I’ve never done (kill a chicken with my bare hands.)  While the former is on my Bucket List, the latter can pretty much stay not a forgotten skill for me, but one never learned.  That kind of poultry prep is a little TOO free range for me, thank you.

I will admit this is the first cookbook I’ve read that has this narrative style so perhaps there are many more out there that I am missing.  But it is a lovely read and I can only try to understand why she misses the “old days.”  I never HAD those kinds of “old days” but I do appreciate how she brings them to life for her readers.  I think it is wonderful that she is teaching Ireland’s younger generation how to raise farm animals, how to use what you have and not waste, and how to look at her country’s history through food & cooking.

There are several things this book will NOT inspire me to do, such as preparing stuffed beef heart.  (Not to mention the fact that my local Sendik’s doesn’t have a meat counter filled with bovine organs.)  But the rustic and charming ideas of making my own butter, my own bread and growing some simple vegetables, now THAT appeals to me.

In the following weeks I hope to begin a culinary endeavor guided by Ms. Allen.  You will read about my triumphs as well as my attempts that end up with a notation “Don’t make this again.”  Hopefully the next series you read won’t be my attempts to lose weight from all this great cooking!

How To Permanently Mess Up Your Daughter

How to Permanently Mess Up Your Daughter In 10 Easy Steps:

1.  Let her follow in the footsteps of Thylane Lena-Rose Blondeau.

2. - 10.  See Step 1.

I am already prepared for the battle ahead with Kyla and wanting to grow up too fast.  There will desires of pierced ears, makeup, high heels, and clothes that are trendy but certainly not age-appropriate.  Hey, I’ve been there.  I remember what it was like.  I never thought for ONE SECOND that perhaps I was not old enough, mature enough or ready to handle something in my all of thirteen years on this planet.

What do you MEAN I’m not old enough to attend a concert (unescorted/unchaperoned) with my best friend at Alpine Valley?  After all, I AM in fifth grade; I’m not a little girl!  Seriously, I will never forget that time in my life.  I truly could not believe that my parents were so ridiculously strict that they wouldn’t let me go to a dirty outdoor concert venue known far more for its perpetual cloud of cannabis smoke than for any of its musical acts.

And things are far worse now than they were when I was growing up.  What was the worst thing I had in the 80’s?  MTV?  Madonna?  The Simpsons?  There were no reality shows to tell me what “reality” isn’t, no Abercrombie & Fitch stores to tell me that at the tender age of eight I needed a padded bra, no internet predators to seep in to my on-line world and steal my innocence.

Our daughter is going to be RAISED, she is not going to just grow up.  She will be exposed to all that is good and pure.  She won’t live in a bubble and be an easy target for all the crazies and sicko’s, but she won’t be street-smart beyond her years, either.  She will be raised in a faithful, God-loving house with morals and values and kindness.  She will be taught all the basics that seem to have disappeared from our kids’ lives these days:  manners, a healthy fear of (and respect for) adults who are “in charge” no matter what the situation is, and enough intelligence and confidence to say no to a slew of nasty things that could hurt her body, mind, or soul.  In short, she is going to have role models like Hannah and Regis Giles, not like Miley Cyrus.

If there is so much junk out there these days, why on EARTH would any self-respecting parent force things on a child that would make them grow up WAY too fast and end up creating a mind that is too screwed up to ever know what is “normal?”

“This isn't edgy. It's inappropriate, and creepy, and I never want to see a nine-year-old girl in high-heeled leopard print bedroom slippers ever again.” Chloe Angyal

WHY would you ever think that letting your 10-year-old daughter wear more makeup than Lady Gaga is smart?  WHY would you ever think that letting her wear stilettos instead of Keds is wise?  WHY would you ever think that her laying across a tiger pelt to stare seductively into a camera for a fashion magazine is a good parenting choice?  The world is full of sicko’s and pervs.  WHY would you want her to help their cause along?  Toddlers & Tiaras is disgusting enough, THIS just pushes it way over the edge.

Would I allow any of this in my daughter’s life?  To quote an age-old parentism:  “Over my dead body.”

The Barking Lot (08/13/11)

Every week, Kevin & I collaborate on a dog feature called The Barking Lot.  It began as my idea since I am completely dog-obsessed.  What started as a simple guest blog on This Just In has blossomed into a widely-read, much-enjoyed regular installment.  We give the dog-walking weather forecast, then it’s my main article, then Dogs In The News which is Kevin’s contribution, a photo, and a closing video.  Let all your dog loving friends know about this special Saturday feature!

Enjoy this week’s edition.